A Deeper Look at Detachment

I took a six month journey into an understanding of detachment which has taken me deeper into the concept than I had imagined, and in ways I could not foresee. I thought that I had, through recent experience shown a fair level of it and had become a witness in my life. This was true in a sense, but it  would be tested. My life has changed in many ways and I have resisted that change. I did not just trust the process and do whatever was my next task, knowing deeply that everything is moving in the right direction. I began to wallow in ego and wonder why I was so misunderstood and why my job had become this and my financial situation had become that. I have worked very hard for years on my projects and nothing appeared to be happening so I needed to get back to work to support my family. When I needed it, it was there, but I carried resentment at returning to a working environment that had become foreign to me. Rather than recognizing that my needs were being met and that the system was working as it should, I could only see that it was not working in the way I had hoped.

Where was the detachment? Where was the interested observer? It seemed the more I tried to detach myself from these situations the more I attached myself to them. Anger crept back into my consciousness and over a period of time I began to slip back into old habits of thinking. I began to wonder if this was just a part of the process. Was I just more attached than I thought, gaining recognition of the fact as I looked more closely? Was I actually becoming more attached because I was looking more closely? I saw that moment as a turning point and began to come out of what was a very difficult time based on those questions arising in my mind. My lower self had seized the moment and took advantage of a weakened resolve to re-assert itself. I am still faced with a situation which seems unsustainable and could face further complications which make the outcome unknowable. It is just more OK than it was before.

Many spiritual teachers tell personal stories of great loss. Many successful business people tell of multiple bankruptcies prior to the developmental changes that lead to their eventual success. The loss of the things that one identifies one’s self with is a very traumatic and powerful moment. Eckhart Tolle tells of being suicidal and going beyond that total loss of self into a void. He came out of the other side of it into bliss. He spent the better part of 5 months homeless, sitting on park benches in what he describes as pure presence. This is the unfiltered awareness toward which discipleship is geared. He became a spiritual teacher and has dedicated his life to helping others attain that bliss through the discovery of the eternal now.

What lead to his epiphany was the loss of all that he identified with, and from which he drew his sense of self. This left nothing but the witness, and could have lead to his taking of his own life in the usual meaning of that term, through suicide. Instead it liberated him from his suffering in a different way and he took his life in a completely new direction. He died while still alive. He gave up his identification with the mortal coil, as Shakespeare called it, while the mechanism still lived. As much as I thought I had learned about detachment, I was only capable of releasing certain things. There were many things I still had very deep attachments to and still do. Of course I don’t expect to be perfect but we need to continually ascertain where we are so we know what the next step is.

This renunciation comes in stages depending on the karma, the circumstances, and developmental level and capacity of the person involved. Its culmination is the fourth initiation in which all sense of self is renounced including the Soul and its causal body is burned up in the process. Just as in the case of having a psychological death without the death of the human form, it is possible and eventually necessary to release all ties to possessions and the outcomes of our activities. If we are unable to release these ties when the time is ripe, then Egoic impulse may set events in motion that remove what we are clinging to. It seems that if we are capable of that release while these things, people, or circumstances still exist within our lives that this devastation on the physical plane is not necessary. Seek first the kingdom of God and then all else will be rendered unto you. You may not have to live in poverty or come to the edge of suicide to lose that sense of self if you are working on it consciously.

Jesus told the rich and pious man to sell all he had and give to the poor, then follow him. The man walked away hanging his head because he had great possessions and could not imagine his life without those things. He also said that it is easier to push a camel through the eye of a needle than it is for a rich man to enter the Kingdom. He did not say it was impossible, but was acknowledging, I believe, the strong pull that our possessions have upon us and how cumbersome those attachments are on the path. The more we possess, the more we are possessed, if we allow it. Emerson said if you put a chain around the neck of a slave, the other end instantly attaches itself to you. If you believe another human being completes you than you are only half a person.

As disciples and aspirants we are supposed to practice control over our desire or emotional nature with our mental nature. It is always the higher which gains steady control over the lower. The problem is that we are also to aspire to higher learning and expression and that in itself is a desire. So how do we use desire while simultaneously shutting it down? The simple answer is we don’t. It is not necessary at this point in our lives to destroy our astral (desire) nature. What we need to do is stop letting it drive. As we use our minds and strengthen them we begin to exercise control over emotional responses.

The emotional investment is some part of what is at stake. In situations where we don’t “have a dog in the race” we can be impartial and more effective judges. It’s easy to raise other people’s kids from the sidelines. I think every kid should have a step parent; we are so much harder to manipulate. We need to be able to apply that interested detachment to our own lives as well as those situations. If we are more effective when we are detached we should try to be that effective in our own lives. It is easier said than done but not impossible.

The point is that we need to live and love without clinging. We speak of love as the law of attraction. If we don’t stop attracting, we should never need to begin clinging. A magnet does not need a hook. As long as it stays a magnet the iron won’t leave. If you want to keep someone in your life, make them happy and they will want to stay. Clinging never really kept anyone from leaving and sometimes it makes them want to. It works with everything. You have attracted all that is in your life by thinking of it and infusing that thought with emotion. If you only infuse the negative thoughts then that is what you manifest. That is why we try to think positively and radiate good feelings. We will resonate with and manifest the positive thoughts and our lives will show it.

The next step is to become acutely aware of the functioning of our minds. In the same way that we can step aside and observe our emotional state, we can observe our mental state. This means that the mind is no longer our identity. Who is watching the mind? The Soul. This is the unit of consciousness within the greater life. It has no beginning or end that we can deal with practically. It can’t use money, doesn’t need sex, a house, a job, or children, and can’t be killed. To the soul, none of these things matters, except in how they contribute to the opportunity for growth. In that case, what Eckhart Tolle experienced which seemed like the worst of possible circumstances to his personality, was a good day for his Soul.

In Esoteric Healing we are told not to invoke the will, and to realize that for the soul’s purpose, death may be the result of successful healing. We do not understand the soul’s purpose or we would be called adept. If we attach to circumstances that are of no interest to the soul, we impede its development. If we recognize our identity as the soul then the matters of daily living will take their rightful place as circumstances with which we must deal. We cannot confuse what is our life with our life situations. Emersion in that situation is effectively the same as an actor believing in the threats or dangers inherent in the play in which he plays his role. Only the character he portrays is at risk. The actor’s true self is outside of the realm of the threat or circumstance. “Be a Soul” said Ram Dass. This is what you are in essence, and you are safe to experience all the travails of life without concern. What is the real you cannot be harmed on the physical plane.