There are a number of crises in the life of the individual which reflect the overall development of the race. These are seminal moments when a change takes place with regard to the influence of the Soul on the personality of the individual concerned. The early crises are really concerned with the development of the personality. Later when the Soul has a level of control and influence we see the nature of these crises differently. We can all see how an individual has to re-trace the development of the race and re-learn in each incarnation the things necessary to using and training the new body in which the Soul has taken up residence, or more accurately, which it is in the process of appropriating. We must re-learn how to walk and talk, share, and understand the feelings of our friends and family. We are re-introduced to social order and responsibility which is carried from generation to generation as the whole of humanity develops. Each culture has its own way of relating these changes but as time passes we see that the race proceeds as a whole in its development and understanding based on this passing of values from one generation to the next just as the physical attributes are passed from one physical generation to the next through DNA.
There is little one can say about the early appropriation of the physical sheath. Memory does not serve well enough to detail any of those changes and I believe that we share more in this phase of our development than in any other. Some of us develop very definite control of our physical nature early on and become athletes, and some just competent enough to survive. I have very little recollection of the ages from four to seven when this is said to occur, but by the age of nine I began to express musical ability. My older brother bought a drum set from a neighbor and I took to it immediately. My brother later took up the guitar and we played together over many years with lots of different people. I still own a kit I bought at 16, and play with some regularity.
In my life, this musical expression actually bridges the first crisis with the second, in the teen years. It is at this time that the emotional body is appropriated by the Soul. I went through, as most do, very emotional turmoil when I was a teen. My family struggled financially and I could not have the things my friends had. We were not destitute, but could not afford the “right” jeans or other things my friends had and it made me angry and upset. Why was the world the way it was? Why the struggle? My emotion was very easily channeled into drumming because, while I was much smaller than other kids my age, and not able to compete effectively in sports, drumming is a very physical art. It gave me outlet for the anger to bang on them. I played my music loudly and aggressively and to at least a certain degree, I was able to let go.
The first true influence of the Soul comes into play at the third crisis; that of the appropriation of mind around the age of 25. This period of my life was marked by my acceptance of responsibility. I moved into management in my career. I married my first wife, and bought a house. I was drinking heavily but managed to balance many areas of my life. In hind sight I notice that music really took a back seat at this time. I had some friends I would play with on occasion, but there was no real effort. In my late teens and early twenties I thought it would be my career, but my brother and I were not mature enough to make it a business. Job and family became the focus and music a hobby.
These are all obviously personality based impressions, and I see that I operated as a personality through all of these times in my life. That is not how I would have seen it then, but looking back I don’t always like what I see and there has always been a “me” that I saw as better than my behavior. I have always strived to be a good person and operate with integrity. I always wanted to be the dependable guy, the good friend, good worker etc. This was an inkling of Soul influence but it was still a personal effort because it was based on how I wanted to be perceived, as a personality. It was your reputation that was at stake, so in anything that was outwardly apparent, you had to be seen in a certain way. I think that is why some behaviors that I am not at all proud of went on in the background. Desire was still hard to overcome and I did drugs and drank heavily. I felt like, as long as I got to work the next day it was nobody’s business what I was doing the night before. This, while I thought I was operating with integrity. It is interesting to look back at the things we have been able to justify in order to do what we “want.”