Course Corrections

There are moments in our lives that may seem unimportant at the time but their significance is realized later. Sometimes we have an intuitive understanding even at that moment but the “gravity” of it still needs to creep in over time. I am a little hesitant to share this particular story because it may seem unimportant and shallow at first but it was a moment of deep meaning and change for me. I am about to expose myself in a way that makes me feel just a bit uncomfortable but this at the same time makes it seem more important that I do.

After my father died I was left with the responsibility of bringing his work to the world. I did not feel there was anyone else that could or would accomplish this. The family as a whole has been behind me all the way and in my absence I am sure one of them would have taken up this mantle, but at the time it did seem that if this was going to happen, it would have to be me. I took the responsibility very seriously.

At the same time, I was trying to find an appropriate business in which I could invest so that we could make a living and support our family. My wife does not work outside the home and with little recent business experience it is difficult for her to find work that is not mundane, or earn a wage that makes the sacrifices we would have to endure worthwhile. There was some money from his estate and we were trying to find the best way to use this to change our circumstances. It was difficult for other reasons as well. We don’t drink, and have not for 9 years now, so buying a bar would not work even though I would like to have an outlet like that for my music. We don’t believe in eating meat so there was no sandwich shop, etc. I have left behind so much of the common interests of people that we struggled to find something we could do that would be popular enough to make money, but that we could believe in and not feel we were pedaling poison.

One day I was driving down the road listening to a motivational speaker named Jeffery Combs. We had met at a seminar and shared some conversation. I had given him a copy of Book I in my father’s trilogy and he had given me this CD. He was talking about wealth and success and those sorts of things and he said that sometimes we come across a situation where there is little or no risk, little or no “down side” and everything possible on the “up side”. It’s very rare but when you come across that you have got to go “all in”.

I realized that what my father had left behind really represented the “work” I needed to do, whether it ever made a dime to support my family or not. I would not be pushing sugar or some other addiction. I would not be compromising any principal in order to make a dollar. It was something I had set myself to and intended to do. Part of the issue with starting a business was that it would be an all consuming pursuit, especially at the outset and I did not want to be a prisoner to it because I had all of this other work to do.

I began to cry, and remember saying “OK dad, I’m in”. In with both feet, no matter what the results might be. I was using his money to complete his work, and it has become mine. It has cost a fortune but it was not a mistake. The work itself and the commitment have had a profound effect on my life. I have had moments of pain when I felt I had made a mistake in committing the resources, because I have not really gotten these books to the world… yet. It was just impatience.

I realize that if it takes the rest of my life, I can’t stop anyway, so how was starting a mistake? I do not compromise my ethics for money. I will not change my work for the lack of it. It was a profound lesson in detachment. Dad told me once that the sun doesn’t whine or complain when clouds get in the way and its rays are not enjoyed by anyone. It simply shines because that is its nature. He also said if these books were perchance never read that represented a mechanism for him to work on himself and had thus served a purpose anyway. They, along with the rest of the teachings to which I have now exposed myself, have changed my life in ways I could never have anticipated including its overall direction.

Sometimes when we take that leap of faith we think we know where it will lead and just hope we succeed in getting there. Sometimes success comes in the form of course corrections we can’t foresee.


Summer’s Gone, along with another friend

Well, the summer is over and the beautiful changes that represent autumn in Colorado are here. This was an eventful summer including 3 more 14ers (look for more video soon) and a few visits to Crestone, Vegas, and other treks across the state. I did some work in San Diego and Boise too. The last 6 weeks or so saw the business side slow to nothing and I had to get a job. I start Monday at a company called Linx and I’m pretty excited about it. It will mean some big changes because I’ve worked from home for so long. Change is good, but some of it comes hard.

I lost a good friend named Kurt Linn last weekend. He was killed in an off roading accident up in Summit County which is in the area of Breckenridge. He was a close friend and confidant as well as a gifted musician/sonwriter and Singer. Many of us who live out here take advantage of the summer weather to go up and have some fun and there are some of these kinds of mishaps every year. Last year my friend Brad Lowderback was badly hurt and lost his girlfriend Dara doing the same thing. As a matter of fact Brad was hurt in the same area and was up there for the first time since his accident the day Kurt ws killed and was told about the accident without knowing who was involved. Its so strange the way things happen. He knew Kurt too and we had played in a band together a couple of years back. It didn’t last very long but that happens too.

It made me think about friendship. I don’t have too many friends. Kurt did, and Brad does too. There were lots of people at the Funeral and lots who showed up for Brad at the various benefits and visiting the hospital, but there aren’t usually that many who stick around for very long, especially when things get tough. I lost a lot of those friendships when I quit drinking, and that’s a long time ago. The people I know at this point are not that many in number but they are important to me, like Brad. I’m glad he’s Ok. I’m going to miss Kurt.

We need to do a better job of taking care of each other, and ourselves, on every level. I said each other first for a reason. If we are all looking out for each other, than someone is always looking out for us. Some people say you have to take care of number 1. Then if there is anything left for the other guy, thats fine. The thing is we are always harder on ourselves and a little more careless than we are with our friends or family members. Most of us are really better at looking at what our friends are doing than we are at what we may be doing to ourselves. Then we fail to listen to those people we say we care for and respect too. People did try to tell Kurt not to take the chance that took his life, but Kurt was his own man and he figured he knew what he was doing. Sometimes that’s just not the case. Its a shame.

Kurt is gone, and he left a hole. Its going to take time to fill. Sometimes we don’t understand why things happen the way they do. He had just had an accident that broke his leg pretty badly and it sparked some changes in him. He began to think differently about the consequences of his actions and what was important in his life. That is the first sign of someone who is on the path; responsibility. Maybe that was the purpose of Kurt’s life, to find responsibility. He was just really starting to think in different terms and I was happy to see it. That last mistake was a costly one, but we all do things that could lead to a tragedy and most of us get away with it. Whether its driving home drunk, or taking a chance on a ski slope that we look back at and say whoa, or trying to see how high on this ridge my truck can make it. Just stop and think about whether its worth knowing..

Life goes on. I don’t believe in living in a cocoon, just being sensible. You could die anyway and if there is a consciousness that lives on after the body no longer functions, as I believe there is, than I want to be able to look back and say I lived. We don’t know if there is life after death, and I hope its a long time before I find out, but we need to make sure there is life before death. Kurt knew that and he lived it. Its a shame we have to do without him in this world now, but he lived on his own terms while he was here and I don’t think he would change that for 100 extra years. He might second guess that last decision, but it was his.

Sometimes I think my wife is too cautious, and she probably is, but sometimes I take chances I shouldn’t take either. What you are, above all else is a conscious being. If you are consciously going about your life than I think there will be no regrets. Some people are just running on auto pilot and not really living. That might make people more sad when they look back at your life (or when you look back) than having lived a shorter cycle on this planet. 95 years of boredom or 44 years of fun. As long as you do it with purpose as a conscious choice I guess its just a matter of those left behind trying to figure out something they can never understand anyway.

Summers gone and the beginning of the end of another cycle is coming. The trees are crying but soon they will sleep and reawake when the cycle is ready to begin again. Goodbye Kurt. I’m gonna miss you bro.

One Minute Shift at Willow Creek

This is a video I edited for the 1 minute shift contest sponsored by the Institute of Noetic Sciences ( I will post the full video as well, but its longer than a minute. It was an incredible walk 5miles into the mountains outside of Crestone Colorado by myself to spend the night. More on that later with the full video.

ISSSEEM and Crestone


I got up early this morning to go do some hammer drilling at a job site that won’t let me make noise during business hours. I just didn’t have it in me to run across town at 6:00 am (or so) to work for about an hour on a project that will not be finished today anyway… Its contract work and that is good but they didn’t tell me about this when I bid it so I’m a little mad. Anyway my mind is on different things. Liz Arrives today.

The ISSSEEM conference is this weekend and I am really excited about it. Liz just confirmed an interview with Lindsey Wagner (the bionic sleep number woman) who is a spokesperson for the organization. I really wanted to meet her (for silly star struck reasons) and now I know I will. I am really looking forward to this conference and learning about energy healing. I have been becoming more aware of my sensitivities and I am hoping this conference will open me up even further. Look for extensive video and blogging about this. I will be taping the complete interviews this time and doing what I can to cronicle the event.

After that we head back to Crestone on Tuesday and I am looking forward to that as well. We will camp a day or two, visit the mineral springs and head to the Haidakahndi Ashram for a day or two. Then I leave Liz at the Nada Hermitage and I think I’m going up into the hills by myself for a night. I will have all my gear and unless something is on fire here in Denver I’m not coming right back.I’ve been talking about a solo backpacking trip and even if its just one night I’m going in. Crestone and the surrounding area is just beautiful. Liz last saw it (as did most of you) covered in snow. Now it will be green and alive.


Doug Fisichella on the Virgin Birth of Jesus and others Doug Fisichella Talks about the sybolism of Virgin Birth of Jesus in the New Testament including the meaning of the gifts of the Magi. Jesus was one of many such stories

Doug Fisichella Discusses the Symbolism of Virgin Birth in The Bible and other Scriptures and Religions Doug Fisichella Talks about the sybolism of Virgin Birth in the New Testament including the meaning of the gifts of the Magi. Jesus was one of many such stories