I have my iPod running a compilation of writings from Alice A. Bailey called “Ponder on This” in my car. It is a phrase used in the books quite often. If you are not familiar, Ms. Bailey wrote 24 books between 1919 and 1949 with a Tibetan Master named Djwahl Kuhl. She only claims authosrship of four of the books and just as Madam Blavatsky said about the Secret Doctrine, she just recorded what she was told in the case of the other 20. I have been studying with the Arcane School she started for about nine years now, and the teachings contained in that enourmous body of work (I have read them all) has become my life. When I am experienceing something like the upheaval in my life I have been discussing with all of you, it is always a reflection or even an embodyment of what I am being taight.
In this last year or so the teaching has been to move from aspiration and Soul infusion, which is supposed to be in process and at least partially accomplished by this stage, to the expression of Spiritual Will. Yesterday as I was driving and listening to “Ponder on This,” there was a line that reminded the reader (listener) that the first act of the Will is always one of destruction. The sculptor destroys the stone and only when he has been working for some time is the beauty of his vision and creation apparrant to anyone but himself. Even his physical apparatus cannot detect the indwelling image in the stone. Only in his mind does it exist. Luckily, energy follows thought.
The act of conscious creation requires a vivid thought form, and the desire of the creator to see it manifest. The desire is what transforms into the Will to act and then the creation is manifested on the physical plane. The problem you might see is that I was very reluctant to have any of this happening… on a personality level. The me that is driving is not the guy who you all know as Rev. Doug. It is the Soul that is at the very center of the life of Rev. Doug. It is my Soul who is sculpting my life, and I only get glimpses of what is to come in moments of intuition.
The Soul assumes more and more control of the happenings in the life of someone who aspires and takes his evolution consciously into his own hands. I’m not being arrogant, although saying that might seem disingenuous. I have been working on myself very consciously in a disciplined manner for over a decade now. It too is an act of Will. What the teachings tell you is that this will bring about tests and change because the personality has opened the door to Soul intent through aspiration. What I can tell you is that it is doubtful that the personality just happened to be cruising along toward exactly what the Soul intends. A course correction is necessary, and the personality (Rev. Doug in this case) is swept up in the tide of change.
It is interesting to me that an act of Will on the part of the personality to aspire to something higher will destroy all that it has built with that same developing Will. Its like you knowingly pull the plug out and the water starts to drain out of the tub. In a panic you do everything you can to stop the water until you realize how free you are and how much there is outside of the tub that you couldn’t experience until you get out of the warm comfy water.
If you don’t want your life to change, don’t read my upcoming book. It has changed mine and its not even published yet.